Ditka

4 pool halls

Never play for money with a guy who named his cue
Never play for the bar tab with a guy wider than he is tall
There is no P in my OOL...

...to not look like a tourist in Hollywood

1. If you really want a picture of the "Hollywood" sign, buy a postcard.


2. Same goes for the "Hollywood & Vine" street signs.


3. Don't waste your money on a cab. Take the subway if you want to go to Downtown LA (why anybody would want to go to downtown LA is beyond me)

...for dealing with a skunk

1. They don't like the smell any more than you do (well actually, some people do like the dilute smell of thioacetate, but those people are weird.)
2. Prevention is better than the cure. If you get too close, don't forget both ends of a skunk have potent weapons.
3. If you can't resist the temptation to go for a lethal solution, aim for the chest. Even FPS Doug can gets taken out by a player's last ditch grenade just as he yells "Boom, Head shot!".
   

...at the sushi bar

1. Use chopsticks for sashimi, but never leaving your chopsticks stuck upright in your rice bowl, nor pass food from person-to-person by passing from chopsticks-to-chopsticks.


2. Order just a couple of items at a time when sitting at the bar, and never try to order soup from itamae-san.


3. Yelling "Waaassaaaabiiiii!" is right out.
   

when staying on the Queen Mary

1. Arrive early. The hotel restaurant and bar both close early, and are both worth a visit.


2. Dedicate a few hours to explore the ship and also your room, there are all sorts of interesting nooks and crannies in both.


3. If you are staying at the QM because you're taking a Carnival Cruise, you can walk from one to the other, especially if you arrange the "Queen Mary early check in" with Carnival.

...when looking for good beer in Vegas

1. If you like people watching, get a seat on the patio at Mon Ami Gabi and order a Chimay. One is enough.


2. While all the strip casinos have cheap beer, only the Monte Carlo has their own brewery on premises.


3. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Want to get away from the bustle of the Strip? Head over to Hofbrauhaus.