...to not look like a tourist in Hollywood

1. If you really want a picture of the "Hollywood" sign, buy a postcard.


2. Same goes for the "Hollywood & Vine" street signs.


3. Don't waste your money on a cab. Take the subway if you want to go to Downtown LA (why anybody would want to go to downtown LA is beyond me)

when staying on the Queen Mary

1. Arrive early. The hotel restaurant and bar both close early, and are both worth a visit.


2. Dedicate a few hours to explore the ship and also your room, there are all sorts of interesting nooks and crannies in both.


3. If you are staying at the QM because you're taking a Carnival Cruise, you can walk from one to the other, especially if you arrange the "Queen Mary early check in" with Carnival.

...when looking for good beer in Vegas

1. If you like people watching, get a seat on the patio at Mon Ami Gabi and order a Chimay. One is enough.


2. While all the strip casinos have cheap beer, only the Monte Carlo has their own brewery on premises.


3. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Want to get away from the bustle of the Strip? Head over to Hofbrauhaus.

...to avoid food poisoning in Los Angeles

1. Just because there's a "B" in the front window doesn't mean a place in any less safe, or less tasty.


2. This is not a town in which to order a steak, much less order "rare" or even "medium".


3. Avoid street vendors, especially ones selling something called a "Tijuana dog".

...for enjoying a cruise port stop in the Cayman Islands

1. Book a "stingray tour". Reserve well in advance, for early in the day.


2. Remember that restaurants and stores show everything priced in CI$, which are always worth just slightly more than US$. So as an American you'll pay a little more than the price shown.


3. Don't forget to buy rum cakes. Lots of rum cakes. Lots.
   

...for enjoying a cruise port stop in Montego Bay, legally.

1. Bypass the shopping.


2. If your boat is staying more than a few hours, get a $5 taxi to Sunset Beach Resort, and an all-inclusive daypass for $20.


3. If all else fails, be a tourist and just hang out at Buffet's Margaritaville.
   

...for meals in NOLA

1. Start your New Orleans day late, with Brunch beignets at Cafe de monde.


2. Continue with lunch at Mothers, but expect a long line. if standing in line upsets you, Gumbo House is a good alternative.


3. Finish with dinner at K-Paul's Louisiana Kitchen, assuming you can get a reservation.