...to not look like a tourist in Hollywood

1. If you really want a picture of the "Hollywood" sign, buy a postcard.


2. Same goes for the "Hollywood & Vine" street signs.


3. Don't waste your money on a cab. Take the subway if you want to go to Downtown LA (why anybody would want to go to downtown LA is beyond me)

...to avoid food poisoning in Los Angeles

1. Just because there's a "B" in the front window doesn't mean a place in any less safe, or less tasty.


2. This is not a town in which to order a steak, much less order "rare" or even "medium".


3. Avoid street vendors, especially ones selling something called a "Tijuana dog".

...for meals in NOLA

1. Start your New Orleans day late, with Brunch beignets at Cafe de monde.


2. Continue with lunch at Mothers, but expect a long line. if standing in line upsets you, Gumbo House is a good alternative.


3. Finish with dinner at K-Paul's Louisiana Kitchen, assuming you can get a reservation.